A woman died last week from Cholera, leaving behind a daughter about 11 and a son probably 8 months. We found a family willing to take them in. I gave them money a couple of times so they could buy food. The baby got sick and the woman for reasons uknown to me would not take the baby to the hospital. I did not know the baby was sick until today. Addison (our Hatian director) told the woman to bring the baby to his house so his wife could take care of him until we found someone suitable to take him in. When she brought him over I took him from her and laid him on the bed. I noticed he was gasping for breath I called our friend Emory to get the contact info for a local pediatrician. By the time Emory called back (approx. 5 min) he had already passed away. It is times like these that are very difficult here. At first I want to blame myself because I didn't choose a good home for him. Then I realize it's not about me and God is in control. (Not that I can't learn from mistakes just that self focus is not what is needed right now). So we begin to plan on getting the body buried. I hire a local carpenter to build a coffin, send someone to pay the fee at the courthouse for a plot in the city cemetery and buy some burial clothes for the boy. The gravity starts to set in and I have to take a walk By the time I get halfway to the ocean I am sobbing asking God why. I call my wife so I can grieve in English for a while and start to head back. Addison comes to meet me halfway because he has run out of money for all the things he had to buy for the "funeral". I talk with him for a bit but the cemetery is closing soon so we have to get going. I get back to his house and realize they have bought a dress to bury him in and I can't let it go. I tell them if we are cleaning the body and building him a coffin to respect him we can't put him in girls clothes. They oblige the white guy and go get him an appropriate outfit. We put it on him, lay the body gently in the freshly made box and take it to the cemetery on the back of a motorcycle. When he first died I prayed that the Lord would "undo" it, heal him, bring him back to life. He said "he is with me" so I stopped.
How is it that I "share in his sufferings" and he rejoices as he welcomes this yet unnamed boy into His kingdom? My life remains a contradiction, but I'm content to share in His work.
Thanks for your prayer and support,
Brian
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Thanks for bringing us in to your grief. I am very moved by your care for this young boy. It is good that you were there to honor him and have him treated well. Your care reminds me of the way Dana and Sarah Cerwinski cared for their girl Harper. You have the heart of God for that little boy.
ReplyDeleteJohn Malek
Brian,
ReplyDeleteMy heart is just breaking, and breaking again for this little child. I am so sorry for your pain and I am even more sorry for the suffering of the children in Haiti. We know there are so many and it seems hopeless most of the time. You ARE making a difference for His Kingdom, even though there must be many times where you don't feel that way.
I am so proud of you and your commitment to what God has called you to do. Please know that you are being prayed for and thought of often.
Love you lots,
Carolyn and the boys
Sorry to hear Brian, that is rough. I can't think of any great encouraging things to say, but know that I'm praying for you & for Gonaives. I often think about the people I met and wonder how they are doing.
ReplyDeleteCrystal
I am praying for you Brian - for everyone in Haiti. I am glad you are there - the people in Jubilee need you and I believe you are where God wants you to be. You continue to inspire me. Love you and hope to see you again soon. Kim
ReplyDeleteBrian,
ReplyDeleteThis is difficult to read, let alone walk through. I am reminded of the trauma of holding the late-stage AIDS babies in my arms as their wee spirits fight against disease and dehydration and starvation. It.makes.no.sense. And it hurts dreadfully. I pray you can sit with God and take on His perspective. Let your heart be healed in His Presence. Sweet Baby Boy truly is with Father. Rest.
Oh, Brin I am so sorry that this happened! You treated this special boy with dignity and honor. Thank you for being Jesus' hand and feet.
ReplyDeletePraying for you, brother.
ReplyDeleteRich M
How can we possibly fathom that Creator Father loves all the Haitian people more than even you? As you process the grief we will pray for you and I pray that our hearts will also remain soft as your example.
ReplyDeleteWrapping my spirit arms around you, dear nephew. I believe in all this you are also a comfort to our Lord. How pleased He must be in the Love you live. Love, hugs & prayers, Aunt Judie
ReplyDeleteBrian,
ReplyDeleteTHANKS for being there--for your compassion for the little ones!. God collects all our tears in a bottle----so know that not one drop is wasted!!!!!!It can only show the compassion that we all share. THANKS for being there for all of us who have previously been there---and for crying for us!!!!!God bless you, and may HE continue to show you HIS HEART.
With love in Christ,
Norma Jean
Thanks to all for the encouraging words and all the prayers. Please continue. It is very comforting to know that you all engage in this with me.
ReplyDeleteBrian,You represent so much of what the Lord Jesus carried with Him while He was on the earth, the deep crushing weight of sin and death...I have met, in my life, very few men of your stature and kingdom worth...you carry something that cannot be measured...I pray that the HS would release His strength and power through you in a way that would not only sustain you but would raise up more men that would be like you...men that would be willing to pay the price that you and your family have been willing to pay! More power!...more strength!...sustain him Father with unused reserves of Kingdom favor!! In Jesus Name
ReplyDeleteDave Ballard
Great job.
ReplyDeleteI haven't cried in a while Brian.Thanks for showing me the heart Jesus again in the story of your love for this little boy.
ReplyDeleteLove you,miss you.
Dad