Most of this trip has been nonstop running for me. Meetings here and there, translating for the clinics and resolving disputes about wether or not a child lives on one block or another. While i am here i tend to run from my emotions because it's easier to function. That's why I'm glad the team is with me. On one hand i would have gotten more logistical things accomplished but i would have missed so much. Hearing the stories the team shares each night encourages me to fully engage no matter how difficult. On tuesday I stood at the front of the line letting the kids walk one by one to get there plates of food. as we got towards the end someone told me one of the boys had been pushing in line so i explained to him how that behavior was unaceptable. As i was chastising him i was told we were out of food. I asked myself how to explain to him that it was'nt because of his pushing that he could'nt eat. He went hungry that night and i was able to make sure he got some food the next day. But the next day we turned away even more. The need is great but more for people willinng to give themselves away to the poor. We need people to love the children who eat and those who go hungry. Hopelessness is insatiable, unless we combat it with hope. The depressed state they live in will starve thier spirits and do more damage than th lack of food.
At one of my meetings i met a team of young people from the states and asked them if they would like to join us at todays feeding. As i stood at the head of the line again letting children go one by one to eat, I noticed the faces of this team. I was soon reminded of my emotions which i try so hard to ignore. They seemed shocked by the condition of the children. After we finished I went for a few more meetings and told the team they could go with me or stay and play with the kids. They all chose to stay and play but they seemed apprehensive not really wanting to get close to the kids. When i returned they were all fully involved in all kinds of games and activities with the kids. I was encouraged by thier service. They were willing to face thier fear and share in the sufferings of Christ. I need to do the same. Share in others suffering of others so they are not hopeless and alone.
Brian
Thanks to everyone for doing such a great job of posting your heart thoughts in the midst of your tiredness. It helps us share, in a tiny way, your trip. I can't imagine the heartbreak in having to turn away children because you've run out of food; a physical picture of the spiritual starvation they are suffering. And yet....you are all willing to bring Light in the darkness and His love to the hopeless. We are looking forward to welcoming Ken and W.'s arrival later this morning, and looking forward to your return. May He continue to lead and strengthen you in your remaining time there.
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